At least I'm not the Edgelord
by OakmossAgate
Summary: Looking back on everything, I would have much preferred dying in the fire. But that's less fun that being one of the catalysts for Equestria's largest full scale war. Rated for violent imagery, foul language, and suggestive themes.
1. Chapter 1

This is something I've been writing and working on for a long time tbh (I have about 25 chapters saved on my laptop of this fanfic)

Mostly just something I work on in my spare time for fun, so I dont particularly care if it's original or not, I do this for fun so if you like it great, if not no sweat off my back.

I will admit I havent watched any of the show after season... 4? Maybe 5? So most of this is based on seasons 1-4/5 and whatever I've read online after. Plus the movie.

I'll upload a new chapter probably within the next 48 hours, depends on how long it takes me to fix some typos as I re'read

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In retrospect, everything could have gone so significantly worse for me. I could have died in the fire, I could have been skewered with a spear or horn within the first few minutes of being in that palace, I could have died of starvation or by being attacked by some wild animal days after escaping a bunch of unicorns and ponies out for my blood.

Instead I lasted for months. Or was it years now? Time has lost some meaning to me, since I've been more focused on keeping myself and my friends alive in this hell scape.

I had heard of the show. I mean who hasn't these days? As a little girl I used to collect the original My Little Pony figurines. Garish pastel plastic ponies with a mane and tail that seemed more like plastic than any attempt at functional hair. I think after I got out of that phase and went on to something else, Barbies I think, my older brother strapped them to fireworks.

But I got off track there.

As a child I collected them until I went on to the next big thing. I remember a few shows from when I was a kid but I don't think I ever really watched them. I had heard a few years back of a new show focusing on magic being produced, saw some art I thought was cute. My nieces loved it as soon as it aired and I even watched an episode or two with them. I personally didn't see anything noteworthy of it but I knew the internet exploded with it.

Personally I'll take my horror movies and video games over pastel ponies with squeaky voices any day.

Looking back on those days, maybe I should have watched the show, should have paid more attention to my nieces talking about it. Would have saved me a world of trouble.

Now I was overlooking a battlefield. Ponies, unicorns, pegasi, dogs, dragons, griffons, hypogriffs, serpents, yaks, deer, and creatures I didn't even have a name for all vying for the blood of another. Above I could see even more carnage, three winged unicorns, something that reminded me of a chimera, and one other being all duking it out in a fight for their lives.

All around me was chaos, death, and screaming. It was surreal, and I felt almost weightless as I looked over and saw a dragon snap its jaws down on a unicorn and snap its head clean off.

I raised my staff, preparing the spell, and took aim at my target in the sky.

But perhaps starting my story at the final battle is not the way to go.

After all, I'm sure you'd like to know how I sparked the greatest all-out war between every race on this planet called Equestria, wouldn't you? Especially since, unlike the creatures around me, I am human.

Well, it started a long time ago. Months or maybe a few years ago.

Like I said, time has been a bit fuzzy for me.

My niece's middle school was having their annual themed dance of the year, with the theme being voted on by the students. This year the theme had been agreed to be Disney characters, with the votes being chaperones dressing as villians and the kids dressing as princes and princesses. My nieces begged me to help assemble their dresses, pretty shiny fabric and tiaras, and of course I couldn't say no. My brother of course was too busy with work to chaperone the dance so I volunteered in his stead.

Part of that work involved helping set up the decorations and that morning dressed in a sweater, jeans, and sneakers I stood as far up a ladder as I could as I pinned and taped thin paper streamers to the ceiling of the cafeteria for the dance. From my position I could see the entire room and everyone working. Linda was arguing with one of the mothers about what kind of snacks were to be provided, particularly whether they were gluten free or not. The poor mother she was ranting to seemed like she'd rather be flung into a volcano than chat with her. I could see a couple of the dads, Roger and Rodrigues setting up some of the wooden castle that the carpentry class had spent the last month constructing and the art class painted. The two were joined by another father, Isaac was it?, who looked over the leaning structure and gestured to the toolkit he had brought. Well, the class was all middle schoolers. I climbed down from the ladder as a chubby and bubbly woman ran up to her, her tight curls bouncing as she ran.

"Hey Kathy, thank you again for helping! I really wasn't expecting Hellen to get sick today of all days!" She apologized again for the sixth time that day. I shrugged.

"She does this every dance, not like it's your fault. You guys should really kick her from the PTA already." I said. I inspected the small case of pins in my hand and did a mental count. We were short if we wanted to get all the streamers and banners up, and that looking over I could already see Linda wasting a lot of the minor decorations making sure that one corner was just so perfect for her little starling that night.

Honestly made me want to strangle her and Hellen. Today was my only day off from work after all. Janice gave me a sheepish grin, fidgeting with the sleeve of her turtleneck and averting her eyes. I sighed, holding up the case of pins.

"Well, either way we need more of these. And more streamers and party favors if someone doesn't bring Linda back to earth and realize there are more kids than her little diva. I'll run to Edward's and pick up some more." I handed Janice the case of remaining pins and she shook her head.

"Are you sure? You know how long it takes to get reimbursed! I'm sure we could make do!"

"This is Marie and Leslie's last year in Junior High before they graduate to High School, so I wanna make sure its special. Besides if I have to listen to Linda rant more about her awful gluten free lemon bars I think I'm going to throw this ladder at her."

"Can we make a deal to toss them as soon as her back is turned?"

"I'll buy some lemon bars that actually taste good. We'll swap them when she isn't looking so she doesn't realize."

The agreement set I headed out, wrapping a scarf around my neck and putting on my coat as I stepped out into the chilly autumn air. Well I said autumn but with a thin blanket of snow already dusting the ground it felt more like an early winter.

The town was small, most things within a few blocks no matter where you were at so I decided to walk to Edward's market instead of my car. The walk was calming compared to the inside of the cafeteria of the school with parents upset over stupid things or discussing the proper way to set up the props the students had made. It was only mid afternoon and already I could see some kids running about for their weekend fun, and few car

The ding as I opened the door to the shop was the only thing to great me, the older man Edward himself not even glancing up from his paper behind the counter. There were only five rows of goods, each neatly laid out and smartly placed with like items to make your trip easy and quick. It was one of the few small markets in town, if you wanted a big name store you'd have to make the thirty minute drive to the city. Still, it offered a small selection of fresh goods and a larger selection of packaged goods and household supplies. The office supplies where I would find more pins was next to the children's toy selection and the craft selection, making it a one stop shop for me. I looked over some of the pin options and then turned to the toys as I tossed the pins into my basket.

Colourful packaging displaying their contents with larger than life superheroes or impossibly feminine girlish princesses and animals lined the shelves. I gave them a few quick glances until I grabbed two mystery boxes for the My Little Pony show, one for Marie and one for Leslie. Marie was pretty desperate to get some princess from the batch, and I knew if I didn't get one for Leslie to she'd throw a fit. Then I turned to the craft supplies and examined a few different colour options of streamers. There honestly weren't many colour options available, I just wanted to waste as much time as I could. I settled on a couple of each colour and started to drop them in my basket when I heard something on the shelves above me start to clatter. I looked up just in time for an object to fall directly on my face and make me fall back and into the shelf behind me, sending a few toys clattering to the floor.

I heard Edward curse and start running through the store until he found me and ran over, inspecting me for any injuries. I rubbed my nose and righted to a sitting position as I picked up the object that decided to suddenly fall.

"Everything alright Kath? No injuries?" Edward asked, trying to get a better look without actually touching me. I rubbed the back of my head and stood up, testing my limbs for any soreness or injury.

"Nah, look's like I'm good. Halloween was like a week ago, is this the last of your stock?" I asked, holding the offending object out to him. It was kind of interesting looking, grey with a tacky red fake gem and wings and a unicorn head sticking out of the top. For looking like a cheap cartoon necklace, it was surprisingly heavy and the gem was hard to tell if it was glass or acrylic. Looking at it now made me think it would be perfect for the dark sorceress costume I had hobbled together for Halloween and was intending to reuse for the school dance. Edward seemed confused by the trinket, taking it into his hands and examining it.

"Must be. Thought I had sent it all to the thrift a week ago but I must have missed this one." Edward said. A sudden thought came to mind.

"Can I buy it?"

My brother's house was a bustle of activity as I made my way inside. Careful to hide my present to the two girls in my coat pocket, I carefully stepped over the strewn about toys they left on the livingroom floor and made my way to the kitchen where Leslie and Marie were arguing about who got the acrylic jewel necklace to wear with their costume. I saw my brother's wife, Valeria, watching them from the side with an expression that just screamed like she needed a strong cup of something.

"Hey girls, how are the costumes coming along?" I asked, announcing my presence. The look of relief on Valeria's face was obvious as she made a tactful retreat out of the kitchen while Marie and Leslie both ran up to me and swamping me in a group hug. The two were twins, both twelve years old. They both shared the same brown eyes and black hair as their mother, but got their freckled complexions from my brother. Marie was dressed in a powder blue dress, her hair done in a braid to emulate her latest princess obsession of Elsa, while Leslie was dressed in a pastel pink dress with a tiara to emulate Aurora.

"Not great! Leslie won't let me wear the necklace!" Marie complained, her voice pitching in her whine. It quickly devolved into another argument between the two, their high pitched voices growing in volume as they yelled back and forth. I quickly decided I had no desire to lose my hearing and pulled the two mystery boxes out of my pocket.

"Well, I was planning to give these to my two well-behaved nieces, but I can't seem to find them right now." I said, my voice slightly lilted so it would get their attention, but also be obvious that I was joking around. I smiled, tossing one box up in the air and catching it.

"Well, if they aren't here I guess I will just have to take it back to the store." I said, and was immediately met with a chorus of 'no's and 'we promise to share!'. It was quickly decided between the two that since Elsa didn't wear a necklace that Leslie would get the necklace, and peace was restored as I gave them the two boxes. It was a little disturbing to watch the two princess dressed girls rip into the boxes with a vigor I had only previously seen when watching a documentary about wolf hunting patterns.

Marie let out a high pitched scream as she triumphantly held her little figurine for the world to see. A white pony with a pastel rainbow mane. It had some regal trimmings like a tiara, but it was hard for me to see due to how tiny the figurine actually was.

"Princess Celestia! Finally! Thank you Auntie!" Marie yelled, hugging me again.

My brother came home not long after, finding me helping his two girls out of their costumes so they could get ready for dinner. I declined the offer to stay, but joined him outside so he could smoke before I would head back to my place.

We talked for a little, mostly trivial things about his work at the police station, my job at the local nature preserve, the going ons in town. I told him what happened at Edwards, and how the decorating was going on at school and he told me how he had to help what they thought was a woman trapped in her bathroom only to find out it was a twenty-something dude. All trivial, all just day to day.

Looking back on them at the present time, I honestly couldn't tell you if I actually miss it or not.

I sighed as I applied makeup in my bathroom mirror. Today was the dance and I had to be there in two hours, a half hour before the doors actually opened to the pre-teens. Chaperones were encouraged to dress up as villains, the more disney like the better, to better blend in with the dance and as a sort of irony as kids tend to view us. I couldn't afford to buy another costume, and since Halloween wasn't to long ago I decided to just reuse my costume from then: A simple back dress I had cut off the back and slit up the sides, redone with black ribbon. Black opera gloves with metal fastenings to give them a restricted look, black leather boots I bought at the thrift a few years back, a deceptively thick faux-velvet cape with a hood with a faux-satin inside dyed black on the outside and red on the inside. To complete the look I had a heavy staff styled to look like wood with a glass clear ball on one end and a mask that was painted black and looked like the skull of an animal, probably horse or deer, it was hard for me to tell.

The costume was pretty freaky looking in the right light, but I doubted the party would have the 'right lighting' for it if Linda had gotten her way.

I applied the black lipstick and gave a slight huff, cursing that I had run out of concealer for the sixth time since I started.

I wasn't a pretty woman, or at least I didn't think so. Being over six feet tall already set me back, but I was well built with broad shoulders and distinct muscle tone from working out and the years I've put teaching people the paths up mountains and deep into the forest of our nature preserve just out of town. My face was square, my nose straight and prominent, my hair was mud brown and shaggy. Even with a blow drier it took forever to dry after a wash, which wasn't helped by the fact that it went down to my shoulderblades. My skin was very tan from spending most days outdoors in the sun, and freckles dotted my skin everywhere.

Right now I had my shaggy hair done up into tight french braids, done yesterday by my sister in law after presenting her girl's with more gifts and a dvd set to keep them busy so she could have some time to herself afterwords. I was extremely grateful that the braids managed to hold their shape overnight. Some final touches with red and black eyeshadow and I decided my make-up was the best I was going to get given the circumstances and grabbed my things, locked my door, and headed to the dance, putting on the winged unicorn amulet I had gotten a few days ago.

By the time I arrived, Linda was already going absolutely nuts over something stupid. With her attention away I discreetly made my way to the snack table and grabbed her tray of gluten free lemon bars and replaced them with store bought gluten free lemon bars I had bought yesterday. I discarded hers in the trash and walked over to Oliver, an older gentleman that was the father of three. He was working on some wiring at the wooden castle, trying to get some lights to turn on so it would look better for pictures.

"Everything ok?" I asked. He glances up at me and flinched before smiling.

"That mask is terrifying, Kath, the necklace is a nice touch. The wiring isn't working right. I think this extension cable is shot." He said, holding up the bright orange cable. The lights he was using were standard christmas lights, white and blue to match the color of the 'castle'. The cable was pretty old, but I couldn't see any signs of damage.

"Could the plug in be overloaded? The school kind of has shit wiring." I asked. We both looked over at the plug in, someone had decided to plug in one of those cords that allow for up to six cords to take up power. All six were in use and I idly wondered how safe that was as Oliver went over, unplugged it, and hit the small button between the two standard plugins. I thought I heard a pop as he plugged the entire thing in again, but I was immediately distracted by how the lights on the castle all lit up. Clumsily made and painted as the castle was, with the lights it actually looked really nice and added a perfect backdrop for the dance and for pictures of the kids. Oliver thanked me and soon after the doors were opened and kids started to arrive, dressed in bright dresses and colorful costumes of princess, princes, and even a few warlocks and witches.

I was watching Leslie dance with a boy in a warlock costume when I smelled it. At first, I figured it was coming from the nearby door leading out and some chaperone was on a quick smoke break. It wasn't until the sudden blare of the smoke alarm sounded that I realized it wasn't from a cigarette. Kids started screaming at the noise and the adults started to try and herd them out despite the panicked kids first running in random directions. I looked around, trying to find the fire when I heard a loud pop and a sudden blaze overtake the wooden castle and hit the ceiling, lighting up all the streamers and paper decorations above everyone. Full scale panic hit adults and kids alike as the heat from above bared down on us. The parents that kept their cool did their best to herd everyone to the exits, and I whirled around trying to find Marie and Leslie. I spotted Marie heading to the door, another young girl in a green dress dragging her along despite Marie trying to get further inside the building. I followed her line of sight and saw Leslie huddled under a table, her head over her hands as she cowered in fear. I broke into a dead run, pulling my mask down so it didn't obstruct my view and tossed my staff aside, hearing to glass ball shatter on the floor. I skidded along the floor and under the table as I heard something above us give a sickening crack and without even waiting for Leslie to say anything I grabbed her and bolted under the table towards the door. Something crashed behind us and I felt intense heat on my back. The shaking of the thud made me lose my balance and with what little control I had I threw Leslie as far as I could.

I heard her land with a thud the same time I did and looking up I saw someone grab her before my vision was cut off my something burning landing in front of me. I heard something crack above me, so I closed my eyes and prayed it wouldn't be as painful as some websites described burning to death to be.


	2. Chapter 2

In hindsight, I would have preferred burning to death over what actually happened to me.

Even today I'm not entirely sure what happened at that time. One moment I felt flames close to my face, the next I heard the clacking of hooves and voices crying out.

It took me a moment to fully register that I was no longer in a burning auditorium and that the voices weren't my nieces and brother screaming in the distance and for a long moment I thought I was dead and had gone to wherever people went to when they died.

Then I opened my eyes, and wished I hadn't.

The ponies from My Little Pony? Pretty cute on screen.

In real life not so much. Actually they were down right horrifying to look at if I was honest.

I was in a large room with white walls and pastel colored banners and stained glass windows depicting winged unicorns doing a variety of things. I was laying on the floor in the middle of the room, the floor blissfully cool compared to the floor of the auditorium I had been in before. I saw lines on the floor in some sort of magical circle design around me and just outside the circle were ponies.

Pastel or garishly colored ponies.

I swear the one in the corner would glow in the dark it was so ungodly bright colored.

Their proportions weren't quite what it looked like in the cartoon my nieces would watch, they looked thinner, their legs thinner and longer and their faces less rounded and their eyes smaller and less bugged looking.

They could have been cute, but the colors combined with their slightly to large eyes and off proportions to normal horses dipped to far into uncanny valley and it honestly made it difficult for me to look at them for long.

They were talking back and forth to each other while looking at me, but their voices were so high pitched and they were talking so fast that it was making my head spin.

Or perhaps I was still suffering from smoke inhalation. Isn't that deadly?

There were five ponies in total, each wearing some kind of robes and none of which I recognized from the few times I watched the cartoon with my nieces. All five were unicorns and based on what I could hazily gleam as they argued something about a summoning ritual and some evil the one directly in front of me was most likely the leader.

The pony was bright minty green with white a white splash on its face. Its mane was bright pink and yellow and braided to the floor as was its tail. The pony's magneta eyes turned from one of the other ponies to me suddenly, its horn slightly glowing.

It was talking to me, it's high pitched voice grating slightly and making it impossible to make our quite what they were saying.

Slowly I used my arms to lift myself up from laying down to a sitting position. Thankfully the ponies had gone silent while I did this, as I kept getting light headed and needing to stop near constantly.

The room was honestly just to bright, the voices of the ponies to high pitched, and it was getting a bit hard to breathe. I opened the cloak of my costume, not really having the dexterity to remove it at the moment and reaching behind me to undo some of the ribbon.

I could feel the shift in the air and looked up. The minty unicorn was looking at me with a mix of fear and rage.

It kind of look constipated if I was honest.

The unicorn started yelling at me in a shrill voice that made me cover my ears and sudden nausea to set in. Suddenly all the ponies were yelling, at me and at each other. Unable to take it I vomited, Minty Horn in front of me backing up suddenly and looking at me with pure disgust.

The yelling just got louder until suddenly I was lifted off the ground. I flailed in panic, feeling vertigo and saw Minty Horn's horn was glowing the same color as whatever energy was lifting me before I was suddenly slammed against a nearby wall.

Disoriented, confused, and now in pain I felt rage build up and my stomach twist.

The unicorns were in front of me, horns glowing and pointing at me as I uneasily got to my feet. Some looked afraid, Minty Horn looked enraged.

"Wha-what the fuck?!" I tried to shout but the nausea made me sound almost drunk as I swayed lightly. Minty Horn was saying something but I couldn't focus. My vision was starting to blur and honestly I was feeling to pissed off. That unicorn threw me at the wall, weren't these pricks supposed to be all "friendship is magic" and other childhood lesson spewing excuses to market crappy toys to girls and neckbeards?

Later on I couldn't explain why I was so enraged at that unicorn in particular, but I wanted them to stop shouting at me. I wanted them to get away from me and wished all five would just go flying.

Then suddenly, that's what they did.

I blinked in surprise, seeing the five pastel unicorns laying crumpled on the floor opposite of me. I couldn't tell from the distance, but I prayed they were still breathing. I could feel something strange on my chest and looking down I saw the cheap amulet I had gotten was glowing.

So the fake cheap piece of crap that hit me in the head turned out to be some magical amulet that made vomit bright pastel ponies want to attack me.

It sounded like a concept from some terrible self insert crap fanfic. The only thing I was missing was the cheap edgelordy costume to make me look evil.

I didnt think about the Halloween costume I was wearing as I slowly made my way to the door nearby. If this was some evil amulet then chances are I wasn't going to get a better reception from any other pony and right now I needed fresh air.

I was close to the door when I started to hear the noise from the other side: voices and clattering. Not at all helpful to me who just want to find a quiet place to recover then figure stuff out. Praying the door wouldn't hit when they threw it open I stood by the door so that when it opened I would be blocked from sight.

It didn't take long before the door swung open and a bunch of armored winged ponies trotted in and ran towards the fallen unicorns. Their worried and loud voices filled the room and I quickly ducked out and into the hallway, hiding in dips in the walls and around statues to avoid being seen.

Not easy while still in costume, and I had a few close calls as armored ponies ran around in a clear panic to find me.

By some miracle I actually found my way to the door of wherever I was and it was open, armored ponies standing guard and talking to one pony I actually did recognize.

She was nearly three times the height of the other ponies, her pastel rainbow main floating unrealistically. She was talking with the guards at the door, clearly giving orders before turning around and locking eyes directly on me.

If the uncanny valley on other ponies were bad, it had nothing on Princess Celestia if I was honest.

She didn't even look remotely surprised to see me, nor did she have any hesitancy in approaching me. The glare on her face was unnerving as she stopped a few yards away from me and stood tall.

All of the ponies around me were only slightly shorter than I was, but Princess Celestia absolutely towered over me. In tiny figuring form she was almost cute.

Glaring down at you, taller than you were, she was terrifying. She radiated an energy that made me want to vomit again.

At least she didn't throw me into a wall when I did, and gave me the small grace of looking away to give me a bit of privacy while I vomited.

"Who are you?" she asked. Her voice was surprisingly smooth compared to the unicorns in that room or the rough sounding pegasi running about. She sounded like a disappointed mother instead of a clearly pissed off God in oversized kid's toy form.

I garbled something, I wasn't entirely sure what. My head was killing me and my vision swam making me sway. I needed to get fresh air and clear my lungs.

"I said. Who. Are. You." Princess Celestia repeated. I heard clacking behind me, a lot of it, and didn't need to look behind me to know the guard had vomited. Celestia in front of me clacked a hoof on the floor, showing her growing impatience.

"Kath…" was all I could muster out. I wanted out of this building and into fresh air, I wanted time to recover and gather my thoughts. I could feel that twisting feeling in my stomach again as I saw her talking, but everything was oddly muffled, liking trying to hear someone under water.

This pastel toy was talking, and by what I could tell she was getting angrier. I didn't really think about it, just waved my hand wanting a bit of silence for a moment.

There was a flash of red and then all hell broke loose. Celestia slammed to a wall to my right and next thing I knew ponies behind and in front of me were trying to attack me. I could barely get my bearings as I ducked bellow a pegasus that tried to ram me and made for the very large and stupidly open doors. All sound was muffled so I wasn't sure of what was happening behind me, just willing with all my might that I would get outside.

I wanted some place safe, some place to gather my thoughts. I bolted out the door and down a staircase, looking up to the sky and wishing I was somewhere that looked familiar at the very least.

I remember a flash of red and then slamming into a tree trunk at full speed, hitting the ground and groaning painfully at the impact on both sides.

I gulped air as quickly and deeply as my lungs would allow, hoping the smoke would clear quickly as I laid on the ground for what felt like an eternity. Gradually my head cleared and my sense of hearing returned, but I didn't feel any urgency to get up or even open my eyes as I laid on the ground.

My chest felt warm and I was completely relaxed, taking in deep breaths and smelling pine, mint, and wet dirt around me. It took me a few minutes at that point that aside from bird song there was no other sound around me. No hooves clacking, no shouting.

Just peace and quiet.

I cracked open my eyes, feeling light as I slowly pulled myself up off the ground. Everything hurt from my impact but I felt much clearer and better since getting out of what I assume was a castle.

Looking around I was in a forest, though it looked very different from the one back home. The leaves were so deeply green some looked blue, the trunks of the trees exceptionally dark. Golden light shined through the trees with little orbs of light dancing in the branches and between trunks in a rhythmic motion.

The trees above were very thick, allowing for only ray's of light here and there but despite that there were bushes loaded with berries everywhere and the ground was covered in a thick carpet of grass just as deep green as the leaves above and was so lush that it was like sticking my hand into a shag carpet.

"The fu…" I muttered to myself, looking around. It was exceptionally beautiful, that was for sure, but I still had no idea how I went from Castle full of Hostile Ponies to Oil Painting Beautiful Forest.

I tried to listen for any other sounds beside the distant bird calls, hoping to get some bearings but heard none. With the dense trees I couldn't even tell the directions and the birds didn't sound like any bird calls I was familiar with back home. Sighing I looked around to see if any nearby trees would be easy to climb and found one just a few yards off.

Once I got to it I looked down at the skirt of my dress and took a few seconds tying it so that it wouldn't snag as I climbed and got to work, grabbing branch after branch until I was near the top of the tree. I made a point not to look down and held a firm grip on a thick branch close to the trunk before standing up completely to poke my head out of the leaves of the tree.

I got a good vantage point of the forest around me and the location of the sun. If this world's sun worked like the one in my world, then I was definitely nesting evening as the sky was already showing some red and golds. I could see, faintly, in the distance a white castle resting on a cliff face and reasoned that must be the castle I started at, making the castle south east-ish from me. To the right of it I could see a massive amount of rainbows in the clouds, dipping and bleeding into more clouds. Turning a bit to see behind me and thus north I saw massive snow capped mountains in the distance. The the west I saw more forest and to the east I saw more mountains and forest.

So I saw exactly jack beyond the castle I came from and rainbows and no sense of where I was.

I slowly climbed down to some lower branches I could sit on as I tried to think of my options. Night time was dangerous in any forest, I had no weapons, food, or water, no shelter, no first aid kit, and a bunch of ponies wanted me dead for some reason.

I sighed and rested against the trunk of the tree. Now was the time to prioritize my current issues and deal with them in terms of what was the most pressing issue.

While overall the most pressing issue was getting home, I had no way of dealing with that, so I focused on Shelter, Food, and Water first. The berry bushes near me would, temporarily, take care of food if they didn't make me sick I immediately mentally crossed that off my list. That left water and shelter.

It was a forest that was flanked on two sides with mountains, so it wasnt difficult to assume that there might be caves nearby, and a lake or river I could collect water from. Taking a chance I peeked through the tree again, not holding on so I could go higher and barely saw the reflection of a river and ponds to the east.

The distance was pretty far, but if time moved the same here as my world I reasoned I could make it there in a few hours.

I climbed down and instead of heading off I went to inspect the berry bushes.

The berries looked like raspberries, blackberries, blueberries, even some salmonberries and strawberries.

I was thankful I still had the small purse I had brought with me to the dance: nothing fancy or big, just big enough to hold my wallet and keys with some spare room and it had a thin strap that I was able to tuck it under my costume. I was surprised to find it empty when I pulled it out, but didnt feel like dwelling on it then. The contents likely fell out in the auditorium anyway.

There wasn't a ton of room but I figured I could fit a decent amount of the berries inside. As I gathered I wistfully wished I went with a larger purse, and let my thoughts wonder as I picked.

I worried about my nieces, my brother and sister in law, the other families and kids. I hoped everyone made it out alright and that the auditorium would be fixed on time for the prom. Or perhaps they'll rent out a local business? Either way, thoughts of home made me homesick and I didn't realize until after I noticed I couldn't find anymore strawberries that I had picked at least four bushes clean of berries.

I looked down at my back that didnt even loom full, but sure enough at least four bushes were clean of berries. I reached into the bag and couldn't feel any of the berries and looking around I didn't see any on the ground.

Something in my head clicked in that moment and I put my hand back into my purse, willing three strawberries into my hand. I pulled out my hand and indeed there were three strawberries and a dim red glow around the amulet on my neck.

I wasn't surprised, but I honestly felt like I should be. Still, if this thing was going to allow my purse to have infinite storage, I was taking advantage as I picked the surrounding bushes clean.

I started heading east after that, a blood red glow now coming through the trees. I held my cloak close as I walked and wondered what else I could get this amulet to do. So far I figured it had some sort of telekinetic attack, teleportation, and storage ability based on what I had experienced so far.

A forest at night was dangerous but somehow I couldn't bring myself to feel any concern. I held out a hand in front of me, willing a ball of light to appear and with a moment of delay such a ball did appear. It levitated a few inches above my hand and floated where I wanted it to so as to give me more light as I walked. Most games had an MP system for magic and I did wonder if I had some sort of magic point system I had to be worried about as I tried out different things as I thought up ideas.

I could cast a barrier, make light, make myself float (to dark for me to even consider flight), cause a light breeze, make a small fire. By the time I managed to reach a river I had a general idea that, so long as I could imagine what I wanted this necklace could conjure it up for me. Even willing water from the river to float into a drinkable ball that is purified for human consumption required just a thought and a bit of will power.

Food and water secured, my next issue was shelter.

Of course, this was when a patrol of about five pegasi decked out in armor showed up and wanted to fight.


	3. Chapter 3

A group of pastel pegasi decked out in armor coming at you at full speed turns out to be far more intimidating than it sounds if Im being completely honest.

"For the Princess!" One of them shouted, taking a dive at me. I managed to dodge by side stepping and falling into the river, momentarily shocked by not hitting the ground and sinking under water before flailing and managing to grab the side bank and pulling myself back up. The pegasi took another dive at me, their hooves nearly colliding with my face if I hadn't shoved off the bank of the river and across to the otherside quickly. I scrambled up the bank and ran into the trees, keeping an eye on the pegasi as they circled above me. With their wings as wide as they were, they couldn't keep an arial advantage over me so long as I stayed in the trees.

Having some breathing room I decided I was done running from these pastel toy knockoffs, if they wanted a fight they had one. Imaginging the effect I wanted worked earlier so I decided to try and mimic what I did with their princess earlier that day. With a wave of my hand, I wiled the pegasi to be knocked out of the sky. My vision dimmed slightly, but each pegasus was knocked aside, loosing their balance and tumbling down. Most fell in the river but one fell with a sickening crack on the bank, their wing having been caught beneath them. I stayed in the tree line and watched the other four crawl out of the river and glare at me, pounding the ground with a hoof as they watched me warily. None of them went to their comrade as it got to its hooves, its broken wing dragging on the ground as it limped towards me.

Two of the still ok armored pegasi charged me and I willed a blast of air to go forward from my out stretched hand. The two went flying back, the wind sending the other three to the side as collateral. I summoned electricity to my hand and waited, watching the pegasi regroup. The one with the broken wing hobbled to the group and hey began whispering to each other, keeping one eye on me. Suddenly three bolted towards me, one following them and the one with the broken wing hobbling slightly to the right in a mock attempt to flank me. It did sicken me to think about how much damage it could do, but I pushed the thought aside and let loose a bolt of lightning. It coursed through all five pegasi, even making my legs tingle from where it jolted the ground near me. Each pegasi stumbled, the one with the broken wing collapsing on the ground. I summoned another burst of air and sent the other four flying into the air. Using my gust of wind to balance themselves, the four managed to right themselves and stay aloft before turning around and flying away.

I sighed in relief until I looked close to the river and realized they had left the fifth one there, likely judging them as not worth the risk of retrieval. Later on I would attribute it to pity, or maybe my humanity, but at the time I couldn't explain why I cautiously approached the fallen pegasi. Their coat was a dark, midnight blue like the night sky, and their mane and tail were a stark and startling white. Both mane and tail were cut short and proper for their military attire, their helmet having come off during the sort of fight we had. I took a deep breath and got a few steps closer, getting on my knees to get a closer look. With the fading light it was a bit hard to make out.

Their armor was cracked in places, but I was able to find the straps and undo them with relative ease to get the armor off. The pegasus was still breathing, but it was labored and quick. If it didn't get medical help soon it likely wouldn't last. I swallowed and got to work, finding suitable branches, leather strips ripped from the armor, and tearing off some of the skirt from my dress to make make-shift bandaged for the pegasus's cuts and to make a makeshift splint for their wing and the broken front leg I had discovered when I inspected it. I had no idea what sort of dangers could be out in this forest this late at night, and as I was tying the last of the leather strips to the makeshift splint I wished there was a way for me to find viable shelter for the night.

The amulet glowed faintly, then sent a beam of light into the woods. After a few seconds it sent another beam, and then another at regular intervals. It took me a second to realize it wanted me to follow the light and was likely responding to my wish for a safe shelter, but this brought me to another problem. The pegasus.

I couldn't just leave it there, but the thing was far to big for me to carry on my own. I spent a few minutes trying to figure out how I could get the pegaus to whatever shelter the amulet was leading me to, till I slapped myself in the forehead as I realized I had a magical amulet that responded to my desires wrapped around my neck and simply willed for it to levitate the pegasus so I could float it at my side to wherever I was going.

To my immense relief and slight humor, that is exactly what happened as the Pegasus floated beside me as I followed the beam of light. It led me first alongside the river, then made a sudden sharp turn into the trees. It was a bit of a trick to maneuver the pegasus around the trees, the thing sometimes moaning from pain. Silently I wished there was a way to ease its pain, maybe heal some of its internal injuries, as I continued on. As night fully descended I was greatfull the Pegasus was quiet as I summoned a small ball of light to lead the way. Another half hour of walking and the light disappeared into a cave.

I stared, looking into the gaping mouth of the dark cave and wondered if the amulet was on crack. A sudden loud roar behind me in the trees decided for me as I ventured carefully inside the cave, willing an invisible barrier to guard the mouth of the cave and a larger ball of light to light the way inside. The cave was not as big as I expected, a small tunnel that led into a large cleared circular room. I was shocked to see evidence that something may have once lived there: A table and book cases in one corner, some blankets and books in another. There were trinkets and molded food in different areas, and for all I could tell it looked like whoever had lived here hadn't been here in a very long time but had also left in a hurry.

I switched the one large ball of light for many smaller balls of light, using them to illuminate the entire room. I set the pegasus down gently on the bed and inspected them. For the most part, even with wings and being unnaturally coloured, it had a similar physiology to a regular horse. Its breathing had evened out, but it was still clearly in pain with a broken wing and a broken front leg. Now that it wasn't trying to kill me, it was easier to actually see what it looked like. It clearly wasn't as feminine as the minty unicorn from before, and a quick and humiliating look confirmed for me this pegasus was a stallion. On his flank was one of those marks I vaguely remembered to be a 'cutie mark'. It was a silver shield and stood out against his dark coat. I got up and inspected more of this cave, picking up books and dusting off the table and bookcases as best I could. I couldn't read the writing inside the books, but most of them looked fairly detailed with diagrams and images showing unicorns doing magic. Some had pictures of various places I didn't recognize, creatures I'd never seen, and maps of various areas. It was all to foreign and I put the books back, sitting up against the wall as far away from the pegasus as I could. I could feel the exhaustion creeping up on me, but falling asleep without in some way securing the pegasus would be idiotic.

I willed a barrier around it, making sure that it couldn't escape the barrier but air could still get in. From the back of my mind, I still felt the barrier at the mouth of the cave and gave a sigh of relief. As I drifted off, I hoped they would stay up even with me out.

I had a nightmare of fire and winged unicorns, of burning and lightning. I was actually pretty happy when I was awoken to the sound of someone yelling. It was a rather deep male voice I didn't recognize, and as I jolted awake I groggily was aware of how stiff my body was. I felt bones pop as I slowly leaned away from the wall and stretched my arms and spine with a groan. The yelling got a pitch louder and finally my eyes cleared a bit to see the source.

The male pegasus was awake, his golden eyes glaring at me as he yelled obscenities at me that I knew would never be included in a kid's show. Honestly I was impressed with some of their creativity. Finally realizing he had my attention, the pegasus used one of his good hind legs to kick the barrier I made around him. A futile effort, as aside form a translucent light that showed the barrier around him, it did absolutely nothing. I didn't feel as nervous as I did a the river and got up, slowly walking towards him as I reached into my bag and pulled out some berries. I sat down on the otherside of the barrier, just across from him and ignored the yelling and insults he threw my way. I ate a few of the berries, glad to have some weight in my stomach and then tossed the rest into the barrier in front of him.

"Going to fatten me up so you can eat me, Freak?" He asked, his voice cold and hoarse from yelling. Hopefully that was a good sign that we could actually carry a conversation.

"To me, you're the freak. You should eat those, y'know. It'll help your wing and leg heal faster and then you can leave me alone."

"Why in the name of the Princesses would I believe you'd just let me walk out of here alive? I bet these berries are poisoned anyway!" He seethed at me. I blinked.

"Quite the charmer, aren't you? This is a bit cliche sounding, but do you honestly think I would waste valuable time and resources bandaging and splinting your wing and leg, cart your ass over a mile away to a cave in bumbfuck-nowhere, and then give you some of my limited food just to kill you?" I asked, one eyebrow raised. The stallion stared at me for a long moment, before he looked down at the berries. I tossed a few more in for good measure and at a few more of my own. I wasn't sure how many I had picked, and hoped there were more bushes nearby or perhaps a river I could fish in. I could always hunt, but if I caught a rabbit or bird and it talked I would probably lose my mind. After a few minutes the stallion leaned his head down and began eating the berries, slowly taking a few bites and waiting, keeping an eye on me the whole time, before he ate the rest.

"My name is Katherine, by the way. Friends tend to call me Kath or Kathy though. I'm assuming you have a name?" I asked. The stallion was silent, his ears twitching from time to time.

"Cobalt Shield." He said slowly. I nodded, not saying the name sounded childish to me. Then again, I distinctly remember the main character's name was Twilight Sparkle, so by comparison my name was the stupid one.

"Ok, nice to meet you Cobalt Shield. Now that introductions are out of the way, can we have a civil conversation?" I asked. Cobalt narrowed his eyes at me.

"Doesn't seem like I have much of a choice, you are holding me hostage. If you think you can get a ransom from me I'll let you know now that the Princesses won't give you anything. I am considered dead to the world the moment you captured me."

"That's uhh... Morbid. And Sad. But no, I don't want a ransom. Last thing I remember before waking up in that castle with that minty unicorn screaming in my face was being burned to death in an auditorium with my family screaming my name. I have no idea where I am, why I'm here, or why every single creature I've met so far wants me dead. To be honest, I just want to go home and see my nieces." And burn every piece of my little pony merch I could get my hands on, but I didn't voice that. One of Colbalt's ears flattened, an eyebrow raised.

"You honestly expect me to believe you are some innocent bystander when you are wearing the Alicorn Amulet?" He asked, his eyes on the amulet around my neck. I looked down at it, fiddling with it in one hand.

"I got this for free at our local mart, landed on my head while I was looking for streamers for the party. It's not like I went into some deep cave looking for mystical power. If it'll get me sent home I'd gladly hand it over to you. Granted, that sounds like an amazingly stupid idea right now since it's kind of the only thing keeping you guys from killing me..." I trailed off. Cobalt scoffed, using his good front hoof to paw at the ground.

"It's your fault. If you hadn't attacked the Princess-"

"I was being screamed at, thrown around, and suffering from smoke inhalation. If minty bitchcorn had taken a minute to let me clear my head so we could actually talk none of that would have happened. All I knew was I could barely hear a damn thing, my head felt like it was ripping in two, and everything was trying to hurt me. Can you really justify trying to kill me when from my side I was just confused, disoriented, and fighting for me life?" I asked. Cobalt didn't respond, staring at his hooves. I sighed and looked around the cave. We were away from the entry point so I couldn't see what time of day it was, but I hoped it was at least morning. I slowly got to my feet, feeling my back pop.

"I doubt you can move much with a broken wing and leg, but I need to find more food and some actual drinking water and it feels a bit inhumane to leave you trapped in a bubble only a little bigger than you are. If you promise not to attack me when I get back, I'll undo that barrier so you can move around. I'll be keeping the barrier around the entry of the cave though. Mostly to keep anything that might kill you... or me... out. Ok?" I asked. Cobalt still didn't look at me or speak but slowly he nodded his head so I undid the bubble around him. I kept the lights up and left more berries from him before leaving the cave, thankful to be out in clean air and, more importantly, the morning light.

Walking around I did manage to find a lot more berry bushes, picking them clean and stuffing them into my back. I found some herbs I actually recognized: basil, thyme, rosemary, mint, and lavender. I added them to my bag as well, and by then I figured it was getting close to noon. Berries and some herbs did me well, but they wouldn't be good for my long term health if I didn't find something a bit more substantial. I willed the amulet to help me, to find actual vegetables or maybe some kind of meat source. Several thin strands of light went out from the amulet and I followed them, finding wild vegetables such as carrots, spring onions, and leeks. To my surprise I even found chickweed, chicory, asparagus, alfalfa, fireweed, and elderberries. The final light let me to a small pond brimming with some fish that were easy to levitate out and use the amulet's power to clean and store in the bag.

All in all, provided Cobalt didn't need to eat as much as an actual horse, I likely had enough food now to last us for a few days at least. I kept my eyes peeled as I continued back to the cave, but wasn't able to find anything more edible.

What I did run into was an entire colony of very large bats peering down at me from the trees.

They weren't really like any kind of bats I knew, their coats all different shades of faded blue with thick manes of white fur and LARGE fangs. They made a chittering noise as they stared down at me, a few climbing a bit closer on their branches. I counted maybe twenty in total, the largest one being the closest to me. It was a bit of a dead lock as the bats stared at me and I stared back at them, neither group entirely sure what to do.

The bats moved first climbing furthur into the tree and chattering at me, a clear warning sign for me to stay away. Above them I could see apples growing in the tree, and a few young bats biting into them and draining them to husks. So... vampire fruit bats? Wasn't the weirdest thing I had seen yet. I skirted around the tree and just as I was about to be in the clear the largest one flew off the tree and landed on a branch near me, chittering at me and flaring its wings.

"Hey, Big Guy, no need to be mad. I just want to get back to my cave, ok?" I said as softly and non-threateningly as I could. I just wanted the thing to be friendly, wished something wouldn't attack me for once, and edged around the bat. For a moment it seemed confused, swaying to the side, before righting itself and looking at me with a confused gesture. I took a step back holding both hands in front of me as it chattered differently than before. The bats above started chattering and chittering strangely as well, all now staring at me.

"Easy now, easy now!" I whispered. The large bat glided down to the ground in front of me, and slowly walked towards me until it nuzzled my leg. I was frozen in place as the other nineteen bats joined in, nuzzling against my legs and chittering happily.

Well. Still not the weirdest thing to happen to me yet.

"They are Vampire Fruit Bats. How in Equestria did you tame them?" Cobalt asked as I tried to make some hanging areas above us for the twenty new residents. Big Boy was chittering happily on the table, draining an apple. After I had returned I wondered allowed if I could train them to find food for us, and an hour later the bats flew into the cave carrying fruit. At least that helped?

"Seriously? That's what they are called?"

"What else would we call them? I heard they are largely aggressive by nature, how did you tame them?"

"My guess is something to do with the amulet? I'm not complaining though." I said. Cobalt shook his head. He hadn't moved from the bed of blankets since I had left, but at least he was talking again. I didn't care much for silence.

"Perhaps..." He trailed off again. Satisfied with the roosts I made for the bats, I got to work finishing the cleaning of the cave. This was no means a permement residence for me but I'd prefer not to sleep on a layer of dust, or eat off of it. Thankfully, I had a handy-dandy magical amulet of dubious origins to make cleaning a snap. Afterwords, I got set on making another meal for us. I had found Cobalt's broken armor and used the amulet to make makeshift plates for us to eat off of, and then went about actually portioning out a meal. Figuring he was a herbavore, I didn't include any of the roasted fish I had made in Cobalt's plate.

"So, mind answering a few questions?" I asked between bites. Cobalt flicked an ear at me.

"I won't sell out my country."

"Not asking you to. Where are we?" I asked. Cobalt looked at me like I was an idiot, so I flicked a blueberry at him. He snorted.

"We are north of Canterlot, the capitol city of Equestria and fairly close to Neighagara Falls. Not entirely sure where you took me and I can't go outside, so I can't give you an exact location."

"'Aight, that is a start. I kind of have the basics of this Equestria place, but..." I started asking general questions about the land, the cities, and the creatures that inhabited it. Cobalt didn't answer most of my questions to be honest. I learned of a few places, Ponyville, Winnyapolis, the Crystal Empire, Fillydelphia. They used Bits as currency and were ruled over by four princesses, Celestia, Luna, Cadence, and Twilight Sparkle. Cobalt looked like he was ready to kick himself when I mentioned I wasn't aware Twilight was a Princess now, and I wondered if perhaps that was some sort of national secret or something. Then I realized he told me matter of factly and that meant it was likely common knowledge among the populace.

I did learn that what I had brought into was an attempt at summoning something to fight some great evil.

"He calls himself Deathlord Crimson. He had the amulet before you and after Princess Twilight Sparkle got it off of him we thought he would be easier to defeat but..."

"He had an army backing him that didn't go away with the amulet and you guys are still fighting him." I finished. Cobalt nodded his head.

"I don't know the specifics, only that they were trying to summon someone with the qualities needed that could finally end him." He said. I nodded my head. Deathlord Crimoson didn't sound like a name that would come out of a show like My Little Pony. To be honest it felt more at home as someone's edgelord mary sue-persona on Deviantart back when I was a young teen.

"If he doesn't have the amulet anymore, that means he can't use magic. If it's as powerful now as it was then, then why does his army still follow him without it?" I asked. Cobalt looked at his hooves for a moment then looked back at me.

"Why do you think the Royal Guard serves Princess Celestia, despite the mistakes she sometimes makes? She has lost battles, required saving by the Elements of Harmony. Yet we still fight for her. Why do you think we do that?" He asked. I nodded.

"Point made." I said, but it still nagged on me somewhat. Cobalt laid down completely, careful in how he shifted his broken leg and wing.

I pulled out a book at random from the shelf and flipped through it, more lost in my own thoughts than any attempt to understand the text.

In a world like Equestria, what could drive an army to be more loyal to a warlord than the princesses?


End file.
